I'm scared. No that's not right. I'm terrified. I don't know of what exactly. I only have a vague idea. I do know that it's a crippling fear and that it takes every ounce of energy I have to fight it each day. No one knows my fear. I struggle with it alone. I hope that admitting to it here, some of the burden may be lifted. Maybe no one is listening and no one will read this journal. Maybe my words will fall upon blind eyes. Maybe I will still be alone in the battle. But maybe not.